There is a difference between the moving of the feet and dancing; between what is and what should be; between truth and an appearance of truth; between intention and execution; between breathing and living. Sometimes, there is a difference between a human and what is being thought of them by others; between judgement and conviction; between confession and deeds; but what matters in the distinction of both sides of contention is where I begin – Judgement.
I tend to question the utility of every motif—for I believe judgement dwells here—and find myself deciding slowly. However, I realise conviction results in a firm stance, and this I have battled to avoid; but nature is not defeated easily, for the query rises at will: to determine what is, what should not be, and what was that should be put aside. I am bushed at thoughts when they do not settle this unequal plain and this is where my humanity—seemingly lost—is reborn.
I survey importance, so before I do or do not do, I must testify that the relevance glorifies the source of truth and retains the prerogative to edify the soul. I am human: when I can draw a line between my wish to be and to do and that which is more expedient. This is judgement made manifest by the ability to regain the place of beginnings and ends; and by judgement, I mean a test of motifs and merits; of ideals which are backing forces to what is done.
Consequentially, even the celestial elements bear us witness that we are judged at the point of the execution of thoughts. The Christian Messiah – Jesus, the Christ – even tightens the belt of the sovereign Judge when He states that sin begins with the thought to do and not just the deed being done. Furthermore, what we shall be judged by is why and not just what; even those of ‘how’ and ‘when’ or ‘where’ are slaves to the superficial prowess of thoughts. True judgement is why do I do what I do; why shall I do it? Why do I war within myself and with others? Why would I consent to love or to lust? (This is to be taken seriously) why would I conquer because I don’t wish to be conquered? This is where my humanity lies; but I query further.
Who may judge “why” unless that the heart be judged? Who judges the heart when no one knows the wickedness that abounds in it? I reckon the one who created it – He who knows how it was made. The creator – indeed our creator – is Judge; the Judge, whose word is law for He remembers whatever was and sees what really is and knows what shall and would be. He is the Judge who danced to the rhythm of existence before the ordination of time; before life—as we know it—was procreated. Since I am made in His image and unto His likeness, I am conscious that I am a judge.
I am a judge of candour and truth; of right and wrong; of peace that would come. I am different: for when I accept the import of righteousness, I am famished to die that there would be life installed upon my existence. This is why I give thanks. That I have been given a place to represent Him is beyond worthy of all rewards. I give thanks.
I give thanks for the cross; for though the cosmos rages and time and chance happens to us all, I live gladly at the gate of YHWH’s presence. I know my fallen nature is ‘sinfilled’, thus ‘sinfull’; but what shall be my judgement is that my quest to be of good; to please my Master and Judge shall be seen. I give thanks for the rain of blessings called wisdom and for sunshine that brightens my night. I give thanks for morning; for mourning; for manning; for predestination and the place beyond incantation called prayer. I give thanks for my Master listens and speaks unto me as a friend speaketh to a friend in due time and season. I give thanks for all; for good and bad – for these are rewards justified by import.
I give thanks for peace; for love and the grace to give thanks.
Olatunde Obafemi is a writer from Ondo State, Nigeria living in West Legon. He is a student of English Studies at Babcock University and author of The Diary of a Dormitory War: The Gender Contrast (2012) and Silver Palm Frond (2014). When he is not writing, he is a stage performer.